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Josh’s story: remembering grandma Joan

When great-grandmother and retired primary school teacher Joan Sidney was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and complications caused her health to suddenly decline last year, she was referred to Herriot Hospice Homecare. The team cared for Joan on Christmas Day and in the last weeks of her life before she died, at home in Northallerton, in February 2024.

Joan’s beloved grandson, Josh, reflects on the care Joan received and shares precious memories of his grandma, including of their last Christmas together.

Joan was incredibly close to all her grandchildren, with Josh remarking that she was a huge and constant influence in their lives. Describing his grandma, Josh said:

‘In a nutshell, our relationship with Grandma was lots of love, warmth and great food with a side order of wanting us to experience our lives to the best.

‘Grandma was always the life and soul of the family and her friendship groups – her catchphrase was ‘life is for living!’

Reminiscing on his childhood, Josh fondly remembers Joan greeting him from school with open arms and a huge bag of Thornton’s toffee. As an adult, Joan welcomed him home with a ‘hearty’ gin and tonic.

Joan brought joy and warmth to everyone she met. Josh told us that when he was young and went on trips out with his grandma, it was nearly impossible to get through the town without seeing one of her former students or friends, who always wanted to say hello.

Josh said: ‘As kids, this was embarrassing, but as adults we were full of admiration for all the lives she has touched.’

When Joan became unwell in late 2023, Herriot Hospice Homecare helped with her care, visiting her at her home in Northallerton, which was vitally important to both Joan and her family.

‘In my experience – being able to visit my grandma at home added some familiarity to a very unusual and distressing situation. Grandma had lived there for sixty years, and we are so glad she was able to remain at home.’

Joan always enjoyed Christmas and traditionally the festivities were spent in Joan’s home, where the whole family would gather round for a delicious dinner, with a toast to celebrate all being together.

Josh fondly remembers a busy scene at Grandma Joan’s house on Christmas Day, where she would host a big family gathering. Before sitting down for Christmas dinner, Joan would always make sure everyone had everything they wanted before starting the meal. A yearly tradition on Boxing Day, was that Joan would insist on leading the family on a ramble in the North York Moors.

Joan And Her 2 Grandsons At Table On Christmas Day

Last Christmas, the traditional gathering at Joan’s home continued and around a dozen family members arrived to spend the day with her. The Herriot HOME Team visited both in the morning and the evening to ensure that Joan’s symptoms were being managed and she was comfortable.

‘The HOME team were so kind and brought a lovely gift for Grandma – a bottle of fizz, chocolates, and hand cream. This really felt like they were celebrating Grandma, rather than mourning her, which was what she always wanted.’

Josh explained how the family all took it in turns to spend time at Joan’s bedside, chatting about happy times and involving her in the day. Joan was never alone, with someone always at her side, enabling the rest of the family to have a wonderful Christmas dinner together. In the evening family members watched Morecambe & Wise with Joan, which Josh tells us was her Christmas tradition.

‘The team’s visits gave us all space to enjoy time with Grandma, without worrying that she was too uncomfortable. Mum was able to cook an amazing Christmas dinner in the knowledge that the HOME team had Grandma’s care covered.’

Reflecting, Josh said: ‘It meant a lot to us all – to have Christmas at Grandma’s house and spend all day around her, rather than visiting a hospital and leaving her after a short time. Some of us were able to sleep over on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, without having to travel. We are very grateful to Herriot Hospice.’

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Young Joan On Christmas At The Table

In loving memory of Joan Sidney 24 April 1932 – 3 February 2024.

 

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